I've been working for someone else for the last 45 years. Deep inside, though, I've felt a longing to make my life my own, and not be forced by circumstances to give the best hours and years of my life to help make someone else rich, while I was left barely paying rent.
I've known in my heart and soul that the world of spirit is where I belong. That realm beyond the five senses, beyond our physical view, where in order to identify the unknown, we must hone our instincts and trust that the information we get is more than just our imagination.
After a long event string came together (events which began long before I met my husband Steve), I had the funds to finally take a class to hone my skills and learn about the world I'd felt, but had never been validated in tangible ways by others with the same gifts I was experiencing.
These events helped me finally realize why I was here on this planet, at this time.
Learning that I really could communicate with departed souls (not always on demand) and that I could sometimes tap into the Akashic records of others (only with their permission) to help unlock some of the answers as to why they are stuck, changed everything. I began doing intuitive readings, then radio shows, and then I was asked to be a Spiritual writer and editor on a website called God Discussion.
During this awakening I was still working a 9-5 job for corporate America, and was grateful for the benefits it provided. I had good medical, dental and life insurance, a 401(k), a pension and a small salary that helped pay living expenses. It wasn't until the offices of that job moved about 45 minutes farther away from where I lived that my discomfort about giving my life's blood to someone else became unbearable! That, along with my sister's unexpected death in April 2013, pushed me over the edge and into a deep, deep depression, laced with constant anxiety and thoughts of suicide. I sought help after realizing that the plans I was making to kill myself would be such a disservice to my husband, children, siblings, extended family and all those who love me, but worst of all, my grandsons who I've barely got to know because they live 300 miles away, would NEVER get to know me better. And that did it! I needed help in a huge way to find a reason to live, and not simply survive.
In October 2013 my doctor put me out of work on medical leave for three months. The first six weeks I would get up about 9 A.M., go to my couch , turn on the TV and watch mindlessly for a few hours, get up, go back to bed and nap for 3 or 4 hours, come back to the couch, watch more mindless TV, then go to bed around 9 or 10 P.M. I was sleeping 12-14 hours a day, which was pretty remarkable, since I hadn't even been able to nap in decades. But my mind and body seemed to have gone into hibernation, and I just went with it. I stuffed the thoughts and feelings of guilt about how I was being lazy and non-productive, deep inside me, and somehow knew that when it was time to emerge from my cocoon I would know it. And I did.
I found a wonderful therapist less than two miles from home, and eventually talked myself into walking to my weekly appointments. Now, I look forward to that beautiful and therapeutic walk each week.
I began looking at the possibility that the crystals and stones we had inherited from Steve's business partner and friend, after he had transition from this life, as a possible source of income, and little by little I was finding the people who the stones were meant for, and was creating small a living while doing it.
Then, in February, a whirlwind of events strung together (so many I can barely remember all the moving parts) and I found myself alone in my car on the rainiest night Southern California had experienced in a long time, headed for the Tucson Gem and Mineral show in Arizona. I'd borrowed money from my mother-in-law as an investment in my new business venture so I would have money to purchase more stones to sell, with the promise I would pay her back with a portion of my 401(k) when I received it.
I experienced a deep cleansing happen within me as the windshield wipers worked feverishly to wipe the rain off the windshield fast enough for me to see the road. This lasted about three hours, and every second of that time, something beautiful was happening within me. I was transforming.
I got to Tucson early in the morning, and checked to see if the little motel I'd reserved for the next night, had rooms available for that day. I'd planned on only staying in a motel one night and then had friends who had offered to put me up for the remainder of my trip. But something prompted me to leave a day early. Now I believe it had to do with my journey through the cleansing rain. Shortly after I set out on my trip, the rain started, and after three hours it was done and moved on. Had I left the next night, I would have missed that cleansing shower. Fortunately, there was a room available, and I checked in hoping to get a few hours of sleep before hitting the last few hours of the gem show. But the minerals were calling me and sleep was out of the question. So having been up for over 24 hours already, I took a shower, changed my clothes, and off I went.
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| Azurite/Malachite from Namibia |
It was there that I learned how valuable a few of the stones George had left us were. I was able to sell a beautiful piece of tourmaline to one of the miners/dealers to help cover part of the trip expenses. Then I had a buyer offer me $650 for another stone that I'd been told was a rare piece of Azurite from Namibia. I decided not to take the offer, and held onto the piece, which I still have. It's the stone pictured here.
By the time I left the show that day I was exhausted. My body was in excruciating pain (I have fibromyalgia), almost to the point of feeling like I needed a wheelchair. I'd been up for more than 30 hours by then, but was too keyed up to sleep. I finally resorted to sleep aids, because I knew my body needed rest. I finally dozed off after 36 hours of no sleep and slept like a baby for nine hours. The next day I was up and ready for my second day of gem hunting.
I ended up walking the gem show for three days, and collecting items that I thought people would like. I took pictures of my finds and posted them to Facebook, and by the time I got home, I HAD ORDERS TO FILL. I WAS ECSTATIC!
As time went on I realized that a 45 to 60 minute commute to and from work every day, which barely kept a roof over my head, was no longer an option. I could no longer serve others while my own life force was being drained daily to profit others in an unfathomable and inequitable way. I had to follow my passion and live my own truth. I had to follow my own dreams and fulfill my own heart's desires. If not, my grandsons may very well never get the chance to really know their crazy grandma Sheri.
So here I am, continuing to have physical issues, but having learned that the saying "Do what you love and the money will follow" is TRUE. The Joyful Mystic is alive and well in me, helping me see and understand that the power has been within me all along; the time just had to be right. At sixty-years-old I was reluctant to give up all my safety nets to follow my dreams. One thing good about corporate America is there are those benefits. But are they worth our life blood when we have no energy left to follow our own dreams? For me the answer was, and is, a resounding NO!
That road to Tucson transformed me. It washed away my fear of the physical pain, letting me know that when you're doing what you love the pain doesn't really matter anymore. It's still there, but my heart sings when I first open my eyes each morning knowing that my crystal treasures are waiting for me to find them new homes. I get butterflies when I see them scattered all over the table where they are laid out. I'm like a kid at Christmas waiting for Santa to come and leave presents, only the gifts I look forward to are the gifts of the spirit that come from knowing in my heart that I’m finally living my truth and serving the light within me.
Blessings - and in Service always,
~ Sheri
